Making our Children sick

One of the most dangerous things we can do as parents or guardians is to give our children hope, and then to crush that hope. Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." So we must ask the question of what is hope deferred? I will give some simple things that we do as parents or guardians by offering hope and then crushing the hope that we have provided. We tell our children we are going fishing this weekend. However, later, we receive an invite to a party with a friend. We have already given our children hope for a fishing trip, yet, we decide to go to the party instead. Allow me to offer another example. We have promised him or her a specific gift for their birthday, and we never intend to get him or her that gift for their birthday. So this is what the Proverb is saying when someone gives a person hope and then takes back the hope that they have given them.
We have operated the BBH for about three years now. In this time, we have some experience with children that have endured much trauma in their lives. I have found that some trauma is from the hope given by a parent or guardian that never upholds those promises. 

 
​So I guess my plea for this blog post is to encourage the moms, dads, guardians, grandmas, grandpas to keep their word when they give it. I also want to make this very clear I am not saying when you give your word, and something comes up you have to change what you have promised , but however what I am saying is when you have promised something to your child, and something for your selfishness comes up you chose what you have said you were going to do over the desires of your self. When you do break those promises for your selfishness, your child does see it, and it does make their hearts sick. We are the keepers of our children's hearts and men we are the shepherds of our homes, as the great Shepard leads us. Hope deferred makes the heart sick; we do not want our children running around with emotional heart sickness. We want strong-hearted children that understand the value of our word.


​   Now that I discussed the bad news of Proverbs 13:12, let's get to the good news of Proverbs 13:12. "but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life." ​We can be reminded of the tree of life in a few places in scripture. We see this in Proverbs 3:18, "She is a tree of life to those who lay hold of her: those who hold her fast are called blessed." "She" here is referring to godly wisdom. Proverbs 11:30, "The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and whoever captures souls is wise." "Righteousness is a tree of life," referring to godly living. Now we come to, "but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life," ​Honoring your word brings life to not only our children but to those who are around us. I have met people who, when someone refers to them, are referred to as a person of their word. It holds stock when they say they are going to do something! Or on the flip side to that coin, there are people you meet when they say ill be there you never look for them because their word holds no weight. As a parent or guardian, I hope our children remember us as men and women of our word, and not liars. 

 
My final question for you, could you consider someone who holds to their word? Or would you be considered someone who makes everyone have heart sickness or in our modern term depression? Consider your word it carries weight, be a man or woman of honor, and keep your word.